Please I need the community's advice My husband has a younger sister that comes to our house almost every weekend.

Please I need the community's advice My husband has a younger sister that comes to our house almost every weekend. She's very nice to my daughter who is 9, always buying her gifts and taking her out. At first I was happy because I thought they were bonding. But recently, I've noticed she has started telling my daughter things without me knowing. The first time my daughter came home and said, "Aunty said I don't have to tell you everything." I corrected her immediately and told her that no adult should ever tell her to keep secrets from mummy and daddy. Then 3 weeks ago, she did the unthinkable. Last weekend she asked if she could take my daughter to the mall. I said yes because I didn't see anything wrong with it. When they came back, I was just looking at my daughter's face and noticed something was different. I moved closer and realised she had pierced a second hole in both ears. I was shocked because nobody called me or asked me, she didn't even mentioned they were planning to do it. I called my sister-in-law immediately. Instead of apologising, she got angry too. She said, "She's my niece. You can't tell me what I can buy for her or do for her. It's just ordinary earrings. You would have eventually done it." That statement just got me even more angry. I called my husband and told him what happened. He said I should calm down first. I then called my mother-in-law because honestly I felt they needed to know what happened. Since then I've told my sister-in-law she's no longer taking my daughter out alone or buying her anything again. To me, once you can make a decision like that without telling me, I don't know what else you'll decide next. My husband is saying I'm taking it too far. He said, "She was going to pierce a second hole one day anyway." I told him that's not the point. The issue is that I'm her mother. Nobody should make that kind of decision without speaking to me first. I'm really disappointed that he doesn't see why I'm upset. They said I am overreacting but who will take this kind of rubbish. It's rubbish. First of all, this is why boundaries are very important. And that is very important is communicating with your partner about what you both will take as a couple and what you will not take. How far are we willing to let family come in? What are the things that we will let family do? Questions like that needs to be hard between couples. That way, when your partner's sibling does something or parents does something, you know how to call them out because we agreed that we are not going to tolerate this kind of thing. So why exactly is it happening? You shouldn't want to take your parents' or your sibling's side at first when something happens. She's gonna pierce her ears later if she wants to. Now she's my daughter. You did not carry her for nine months. You did not contribute to the carriage of this baby. Is it because of all the chicken chicken since you used to buy? You don't have a right to touch your niece or your nephew if it's something that your parents are not cool with. And even if you feel like the coolest parents in the world, always ask.