Peter Parker

Dude, if you keep scrubbing your sword like that, the bronze is gonna turn back into copper. Oh yeah, is monster dust inconvenient all of a sudden, Mr. Eight rounds in the laundry mat to get sandman out of my Spandex? Fair enough. Uh-huh. Exactly. Besides, normally I'd have one of my friends in the Festus cabin polishing Riptide, but they're all a little salty after capturing the flag last week. I dropped that in some trees in the middle of the night on one of their patrols and apparently some of their younger campers wet themselves. Dude, I'm getting the same cold shoulder from my buddy Matt right now over the weekend. We raided this warehouse full of monsters that he'd been tracking and apparently when I appeared from the darkness sitting on top of 50 foot wide spider web, the entire warehouse full of goons crapped their pants. Gross. Wait a minute. How did you know that they crapped their pants? Unfortunately for Matt, he's got a very good sense of smell. I don't get it either. I thought I was being funny. You know, I got this whole gimmick, I just don't get why people are so afraid of me. I don't get it either. Dude, I mean, come on, seriously, what about us is scary? Hey, Percy, Nico showed up over here to tell you, go shadow travel over here to tell you, what's the matter with you? Since when do we know Spider-Man? Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sunshine, what's the matter with you? Wow. Honestly, Perce, the gauge for normal in our lives is so broken. Nico. Whoa. Sunshine, what's the matter with you? Wow.