I GOT SUSPENDED

I got suspended, my sophomore year in a girl's yearbook. I was so gay in this girl's yearbook. It was our bit that like sexual partners. Me now. Me present day. I wrote H.A.G.S. Ashley. Can't wait to f*** all summer. I get home from violin lesson. There's 20,000 messages on the answering machine. Vintage. And another call comes through. It is Ashley's stepfather. No. Who is a huge lawyer in Arapahoe County. Who gives a f***? Who stepped up? The father - who stepped up. Yeah. Um. I've been sitting here for hours because there are a lot of Yang's in the phone book. Not he called every Yang. He called every Yang in the phone book. 'Kay loser. Don't you have like a brief to read or something? Yeah. His client's like getting an electric chair. He's like, he's on his like 47th Yang. He was on a mission. And I guess he, like, literally stepped up. She clearly hates him. He has to show up for her, in some way. I am to expel you superintendent for sexual harassment of my stepdaughter. And I was like, umm - She's a hag. Your daughter's a hag, sir. Your stepdaughter's a hag. The daughter who hagg'd up. Who hagg'd up.