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I had to miserably wake up every morning in the cold November when it started. I was miserable. This is your new life. Take it or leave it. There's no about it. Peace behind it. It sucks. It just fucking sucks. And that's the one thing. If I could teach anybody anything, fucking sucks. It's going to continue to suck. When you have a real fear of dying and being just another person to pay $1,000 a month. This is cockroaches, man. If you feel good, that's great. It didn't make me feel good. You have to explore, examine the insides of yourself. What do you really want out of life? The first time in my life, I feel good about myself.