Post by @ayatalis

Three months in love, keeping his distance. ​We were sitting in the kitchen past midnight. He talked about her — the way she looks, how he thinks about her all the time, how he wakes up with her on his mind. ​I couldn’t hold it in: “Why don’t you get closer? She clearly likes you.” ​He paused. Looked into his cup. Then quietly said: “When I really like someone — I’m afraid to scare her away.” ​I didn’t get it right away. Scare her away? She’s not a bird. ​Then he explained. ​There are women you just want to be near. Not take. Not get. Just… let her be there. With someone like that, a man slows down. Because he doesn’t want to mess it up with one wrong move. ​When a man rushes — he doesn’t value it. The one who rushes isn’t afraid to lose. He cares about the moment, not the person. ​But when he does care — he waits. Watches. Remembers the way she laughs. He’s afraid one wrong step will make her close off, and everything will disappear. ​“I didn’t want her to feel just wanted,” he said. “I wanted her to feel important.” ​I didn’t catch the difference at first. ​Then it hit me. And it’s huge. ​Anyone can feel wanted. That’s about the moment, the impulse, the body. It fades. ​Feeling important — that’s rare. That’s when someone is willing to wait. Not rush you. Not pressure you. Just be there and not break something that’s only starting to grow. ​When a man holds back, it doesn’t mean he’s cold. It means for the first time in a long while, he met someone he doesn’t want to lose. His hands don’t rush when his heart is already taken. ​They’ve been together for two years now. I once asked her, “How did you know he was serious?” ​She smiled: “He didn’t rush. Everyone else did.” ​That’s the whole answer. #friend