Post by @everythingtoddler_

Hiding behind the couch tells you something important. Your toddler knows poop is coming. They can feel the urge. And instead of releasing, they are trying to manage that feeling in the place and position that currently feels safest. So I would stop treating the hiding like a funny toddler phase and look at what is keeping the cycle going. Here are the first three things I would change. First, make sure pooping does not hurt. Your toddler needs enough water, fiber, regular meals, and movement to help keep stool soft and comfortable to pass. If the poop is very hard, unusually large, painful, there is blood, ongoing belly pain, or constipation is not improving, talk to their pediatrician. You cannot behavior your way out of a physical problem. Second, stop giving the withholding attention. If they go behind the couch and start holding, do not follow them over there saying: “Are you pooping?” “Just let it out.” “Come sit on the potty.” “I know you need to go.” In my method, withholding gets no commentary. No checking. No audience. Your toddler does not need you to convince their body to poop. Third, make the environment predictable and stop changing the rule when they panic. Keep the potty accessible. Respect that they may want privacy. And if daytime diapers have been removed for poop, do not bring one back because they are scared or because you desperately want them to go. The message stays calm and consistent. “There are no more diapers available.” Then move on. You are not trying to drag your child from behind the couch onto the toilet. You are making sure their body is comfortable, removing the pressure, and creating a predictable environment where the potty is the available place to poop. That is how you help the body stop relying on hiding and holding as its only plan. If your 3 year old disappears behind the couch every time poop is coming and you feel completely stuck in the withholding cycle, send me a message with the word POO and I’ll send you the link to my poop guide or grab the link on my bio Important: Make sure you’re following me so you actually get my DM — otherwise it might not come through!