Hook

Their other posts in the index, biggest breakout first.
My dog walker got fired this week. And I was like, what? So I called the company and I was like, hey, what happened to Jason? And the woman goes, I'll be honest with you, we caught Jason smoking weed on the job. I was like, isn't that the job? Like, isn't the ad for the job like, hey, do you like to wander endlessly outdoors? Which is the company, Little Animals. Yeah, they won't judge you. No, no. They love your poetry. Sure they do. Yeah. You know, I don't want some caffeinated, ambitious, Adderalled up guy walking my mocha who thinks he's too good for the job. Fuck that guy. I want the high guy. Right, I want the guy that like lives in a Monet painting. It's just like blues and soft pinks. He's like totally invested. He wants to be a one with the dog. He's like, let's split that biscuit, Mocha. You know, that's the person I want.