I grabbed my pistol & drove

and then I grabbed my pistol and drove and I walk and I get into the building and I walk upstairs and I open up my and I mean floor to ceiling been 25 30 boxes. everyone was perfectly folded socks underwear black t socks underwear black t shirts, normal t-shirts, this this military jeans, this, this military everything I owned was in those boxes. like my heart rate was like 190. I can't pick it up and I almost didn't. It's like I picked it up and I was like hello. She goes where are you and what are you doing? I said, Pat, I honey, I don't have the strength in me. I don't have the strength to see you right now. And she's like, where are you going? I said, I don't want to talk about it. I'm just so fucking sorry. And I hung up the phone. Made it down there and backed into a parking spot on a song. And I told myself at the end of the song, it was done. As soon as it was done, I was gonna get out, walk down the beach to the waist deep water and shoot myself in the head. Close the whole damn thing. Nope, no goodbye, no sad story.