Manager vs. Leader How to lead someone who's nice to your face, but then difficult behind your back

Manager vs. Leader How to lead someone who's nice to your face, but then difficult behind your back Like a leader, not a manager. Well, number one is we wanna address the gap between private and public behaviour. A manager just comes right in and I've heard you, uh, you've been talking about me. But a leader says, come. I'm noticing that there's a difference between the conversations that we're having and the conversations happening elsewhere. Trust breaks down when people say one thing in the room and then something completely different outside of it. So we wanna be genuine here. Help me understand what's making it easier to have those conversations than this one with that question. We're building this sphere of safety that we talk about that allows them to open up and be honest. So we wanna sit back and allow them space. This is difference here. You wanna give them space to share, at least to number two. We wanna make it safe for them to be direct. And a manager just says, well, if you have a problem, then say it. Why would I say anything when you come at me like that? But a leader says, look, I'd rather hear concerns directly than hear him second hand. People often talk around problems when they don't feel safe talking through them. What concern haven't we talked openly about yet? Amy Edmondson, psychological safety expert, would say, fear is not the enemy of learning. No, silence is. So let's Create that sphere of safety and allow them to open up. Oh, and real quick, if you're looking for leadership tools, the tips, frameworks, questions, activities, these say this, not that cards or the new if this, then that cards, you can sign up here, get a discount, or click the link in my profile and start using them today. Reach out if you need a speaker for your next leadership event, or if I can help customise a half day or full day leadership workshop for your team. And then number three is we're gonna rebuild trust through candor. And a manager is strict, right? This needs to stop. But a leader says, going forward, let's commit to addressing concerns directly with each other. Healthy teams don't avoid conflict. No, they handle it openly. What would a more direct conversation look like the next time? This is all part of, like, radical candor from Kim Scott, where when you care personally about someone, you're able to challenge them directly. So let's create what that looks like together. So, as a manager, I focus on the gossip, get defensive and come at them. But as a leader, no. We create this sphere of safety, this culture, where people feel safe being direct, being honest and telling the truth. And look, leadership is not a title, right? It's a fire. And we have the opportunity to ignite it, not only in ourselves, but in others. Now, if you like these little Tips and frameworks check out my profile and follow me.