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Manager vs. Leader How to coach someone who hates you

@claleadership101

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Say This, Not That Cards / If This, Then That Cards

Everything you need to lead better conversations - when it matters most. You don't need more theory.You need the right system - and the right tools - for the moment.

4 videos

Why it worked

The video offers practical, actionable advice on a common leadership challenge, presented in a concise and engaging format. The contrast between 'manager' and 'leader' provides a clear framework, and the promotional aspect is integrated naturally towards the end.

Summary

This video explains how to coach someone who dislikes you by differentiating between a manager's approach and a leader's approach. It outlines three key strategies for leaders: stop trying to win people over, become predictable in your support, and focus on coaching their future growth rather than fixing the relationship.

Structure

1Manager vs. Leader: Coaching someone who hates you
2Tip 1: Stop trying to win them over; focus on their success, not approval.
3Tip 2: Be predictable and consistent in your support.

Original caption

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On-screen text

Manager vs. Leader How to coach someone who hates you How to coach someone who hates you. Like a leader, not a manager. Number one is, stop trying to win them over. Manager says, hey, what can I do to. To get you to like me? But a leader says, my job is not to earn your approval. My job is to help you succeed. But the moment you start chasing approval, that's the moment you lose leadership influence. So how can I best support your success? And number two is we wanna become predictable. The manager just says, hey, I'm just trying to help. But the leader says, look, whether we're having a, an easy conversation or a tough one, you're gonna get the same respect, honesty and consistency from me. People may not like your decisions, but they can learn to trust your consistency. We wanna hear it back. Like, what can you consistently expect from me as your leader? People judge us by the consistency of our actions. Oh, and real quick, if you're looking for leadership tools, these say this, not that cards, or the new if this then that IF THIS, THEN THAT cards, you can sign up here, get a discount, or click the link in my profile and start using them today. And reach out if you need a speaker for your next leadership event, or if I can help customise a half day or full day leadership workshop for your team. Number three is you wanna coach their future, not your Relationship. The manager just says, why don't you like me? The leader says, alright, let's put our relationship aside for a few minutes here and let's just focus on what's gonna help you grow. See, that conversation becomes a lot more productive when growth becomes the shared goal instead of fixing the relationship. And then we can ask like, what's one skill or area of focus that you'd like to grow in the next month? See, managers spend their time, all their energy trying to be liked. But leaders spend their energy helping people grow. And then respect often follows. And look, leadership is not a title, right? It's a fire. We have the opportunity to ignite it not only in ourselves, but in others. Now, if you like these little tips and frameworks, check out my profile and follow me.

Transcript

How to coach someone who hates you. Like a leader, not a manager. Number one is, stop trying to win them over. Manager says, hey, what can I do to. To get you to like me? But a leader says, my job is not to earn your approval. My job is to help you succeed. But the moment you start chasing approval, that's the moment you lose leadership influence. So how can I best support your success? And number two is we wanna become predictable. The manager just says, hey, I'm just trying to help. But the leader says, look, whether we're having a, an easy conversation or a tough one, you're gonna get the same respect, honesty and consistency from me. People may not like your decisions, but they can learn to trust your consistency. We wanna hear it back. Like, what can you consistently expect from me as your leader? People judge us by the consistency of our actions. Oh, and real quick, if you're looking for leadership tools, these say this, not that cards, or the new if this then that IF THIS, THEN THAT cards, you can sign up here, get a discount, or click the link in my profile and start using them today. And reach out if you need a speaker for your next leadership event, or if I can help customise a half day or full day leadership workshop for your team. Number three is you wanna coach their future, not your Relationship. The manager just says, why don't you like me? The leader says, alright, let's put our relationship aside for a few minutes here and let's just focus on what's gonna help you grow. See, that conversation becomes a lot more productive when growth becomes the shared goal instead of fixing the relationship. And then we can ask like, what's one skill or area of focus that you'd like to grow in the next month? See, managers spend their time, all their energy trying to be liked. But leaders spend their energy helping people grow. And then respect often follows. And look, leadership is not a title, right? It's a fire. We have the opportunity to ignite it not only in ourselves, but in others. Now, if you like these little tips and frameworks, check out my profile and follow me.