DON'T TELL

Some of y'all out here still datin' and movin' like there's a country left. It's over! Stop. If you a couple tonight, you don't got to do it now, but at some point, on the way home, look at the person you with and be like, "Can I survive the apocalypse with 'em?" And if the answer is no, get rid of 'em! No hard feelings! Gift 'em with a crossbow and wish 'em well, but Ladies, tall men, I know y'all love 'em. Useless in the apocalypse. You can't do nothin' with a tall man in the apoc- You can't hide 'em nowhere! Y'all tryin' to hide from the drones, this big dummy makin' eye contact with 'em! Like, "N*****, duck! What are you doing!?" Tall dudes can't even whisper. Have you heard a tall dude whisper? [Tall Man Whisper] "There goes our cover. Great." Ladies, you need a short king that can burrow. You need- Short kings in the house. You need a short man that can get low in a pinch! He could do a surprise attack! A soldier stop you, he's searchin' through your bug-out bag, guess who in there? Your short king. Jumps out like a Pokemon, stabs him in the arteries. That's what you need. Your tall king gon' get separated. They gon' take your tall men, they gon' take him to a labor camp. Join the militia. Your short king comin' with you, women and children. He comin' right- Put a little propeller hat on him, he good to go! "Right this one, young man! You're good to-" Ladies, y'all gon' need them short kings! And it's not just the women. Fellas, it's us too. There's no use for freak in the apocalypse. This girl was tellin' me, "B*tch, that is irresponsible! Scarce! And you have the temerity to squirt all night!? We gotta hike tomorrow! You gon' be dehydrated! Don't look at my canteen, I'm not sharin'! You need to treat yo p*ssy like a camel's hump and preserve the Lord's liquids. Alright? What is it? It's sustenance. And we might- We might need it! Put out a fire, you never know! That sh*t don't even sound sexy in the apocalypse, do it? "P*ssy stay wet, p*ssy stay drippin'." Great. Now the hounds have tracked us. Right.