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Every mum, depending on the country they're from. Palestine. Palestinian mums are basically MI6. They know everything before it happens. You lost your keys? She found them before you knew they were missing. She's always on the phone with someone from the family. Yells, "Hi! Come say hi to your auntie!" And suddenly, you're the world's greatest actor, dead asleep on the sofa, tired. You weren't tired 20 seconds ago. Pakistani. Pakistani mums have a sixth sense. You walk through the door, they're already plating biryani before you've taken your shoes off. Say no. Auntie abandoned emotional warfare. You'll eat. Romania. Romanian mummies don't feed you. They conquer you with food. You sit down for one biscuit and leave having eaten a whole economic animal. My 'nana, no, I am the food. Ireland. Mummies differently. I have eyes in the back of my head. Don't be bold. If you break your legs, don't come running to me. Then she makes you tea. Love and fear in the same sentence. That's the Irish way. Morocco. Mums hospitality on steroids. You sit down and you're eating a three-course meal. She started at 5 AM. Cool, eat, eat. You're not a guest. You're a full-time project. Resistance is futile. Which country shall I do next?