My biggest failure saved me from a life I didn't want

I didn't get into medical school and I am super grateful that I didn't. I'm currently a scientist, but that was not the original plan. I failed at the original plan, which was the end of the world at the time. But honestly, now I am really glad that I got rejected because it forced me to take a long, good hard look at my life and ask myself why I was doing this. I had good grades, I did the volunteer work, the research, and I had all of COVID to apply for medical schools. And still didn't get in. So I geared up to go again. I got another research position, more volunteer work, more hours. And somewhere along the way, I realised that I hated this. I was anxious, depressed, I was miserable. I quite honestly did not want to be around anymore. And ultimately, it's because to I was trying to become a doctor for all the wrong reasons. I was trying to become a doctor because I wanted other people to think I was smart or noble. I wanted people to think highly of me. And I know that sounds so dumb, but sometimes it's really hard to tell what you want versus what others you think others want of you. But you should know something. Nobody cares. Nobody cares if you're smart. Nobody cared that I was trying to be a doctor to help patients. And even some of the patients I worked with as a volunteer didn't care. Them. After some random day after crying in the bathroom for the third time that week, that message on LinkedIn. And it was a recruiter offering me a real job with real money. And something switched in me. I said, "Yeah, this. I wanna do this job. I don't want to do this anymore." And I have never regretted that decision. Yes, there are moments that I think about my failure that I wasn't good enough to be a doctor or smart enough. But I would never go back and undo that decision. Again. Because somewhere along this road, I realised I didn't want a difficult life. I personally am not cut out for it. I am not the definition of resilience, anxiety, the pressure, the hard work. I can't do it. I didn't want to do it. And eventually, I admitted that maybe I am a bit more vain than I initially thought I was. I didn't want to grind. I didn't want to be in debt. I wanted to have money in my twenties. And how did I turn out? Well, I post videos on the internet and I pipette liquids all day. Undermining my work here. But I haven't cried in the bathroom since. And more importantly, I'm happier. At the end of the day, make sure you are pursuing a life that you want, not others you think others will like you for. You will be a lot happier for it. And people will like you the same. If not more.