So yesterday I attended the men's conference

I attended the men's conference yesterday, and one conversation stayed with me. Geoffrey Mosiria spoke about the stupid decisions men make, and he gave an illustration that landed hard. We ignore everything because of sexual desire. A woman has five children by three different men. The red flags are standing there in daylight. But because a man is sexually deprived, he chooses not to see them. He brings her into his house. Soon the children follow. And that is where the trouble begins. Not because children are a problem. Because he never made a decision. He reacted to an urge and called it a relationship. Then something worse happens. Children arrive between them. Now he cannot leave. So you find men living in quiet sorrow, unhappy, knowing they could have done better, trapped by a choice made without thinking. Another thing struck me during that conversation. The importance of a father in the life of a girl. Many women who grew up without a masculine figure struggle with authority in relationships. That is not an insult, it is an observation about how we are all shaped by what we did not receive. And there was a practical piece of wisdom shared. Look at the mother. Character often reveals itself there. The past does not lie. So when you see a string of red flags, you already have your answer. But we are so afraid of leaving that we stay. And sometimes those situations end in tragedy, with intelligent men rotting in prison over something they could have walked away from. It is not wrong to leave. Assess properly. Take your time. Do not let desire make your decisions. Shout out to Keith Muoki, Jacob Aliet, and Dr Ofweneke. We need more of these conversations. — Elvis W.