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This is the same guy that was in The Odyssey?! This is the same guy that was in BATMAN??? Are you sure you wanna watch this? Of course I wanna watch this. We're taking your Twilight virginity. I wanna stay a Twilight virgin. This was my dream guy, alright? So you just better study up, big guy. I'm Team Edward, by the way. I'm gonna dim the lights to just put you in the mood. "I've never given much thought to how I would die..." You're telling me that Taylor Lautner is Native American in this film?! WHAT?? Listen, it was 2009. This also gave me a fantasy of really wanting an old red pickup truck. Wait, we're supposed to believe that they're in highschool?? That guy is like 35. How much makeup do you think he has on? He's just staring at her the whole time? What was that?! It was a vampire killing. But it was light outside!! Vampires can't be outside. He sounded like a little French person. "Hello." This is the same guy that was in The Odyssey?? This is the same guy that was in BATMAN?? Everybody starts somewhere babe. A vampire being a doctor... is not a conflict of interest? You're gonna you're gonna tell me that? That is insane. I would not want a vampire as my doctor. Does he have the same look in his eyes all 5 movies? Where he's like 👁️👁️. You're telling me that he drives a Volvo?? This guy drives... A VOLVO? Does he have to be invited into every single place that he walks into? No. Oh so that rule of vampires doesn't apply?? Is Robert Pattinson vulnerable to garlic? I don't think these rules apply. We're just making up vampire rules. Stephanie Meyer made her own universe. HAHAHA. That was one of the craziest things I've ever seen. Fcking piggyback ride up the mountain. He went, it "doesn't matter"?? That he's a murderer? That he's eaten people? Why don't you say shit like that to me?! Who WROTE this shit?? I reposted this on my Tumblr so many times. They've known each other like 3 weeks. The prom hasn't even happened yet!! Levitate between trees?! What?! THAT IS VERY UNSAFE. What is she doing?? "Oh yeah Bella how was your date?" "Oh dad, it was great." "He took me up in a TREE." "No harness!!" "No ladder!" "I'm on a mountain!" This is INSANE. Where's his house??? And now he's playing piano!! This was my dream. You really-WHIFFED. If this is your dream, this was the blueprint for me. Why why is she just leaving her window open?? What would you do if you found out that our daughter's vampire boyfriend was sneaking into her room every night to watch her sleep? I would drive a wooden stake through that guy's heart. I'd make him an Italian dinner. EXTRA GARLIC. This might be the worst movie I've ever seen. This is a cultural moment and you need to have some respect.