GRWM My school experience with autism

I'm autistic and my school experience was how so that's talk about it for months or weeks at a time I wasn't able to make it through the whole school day without crying or being sent home and that got to the point where my mom debated sending me to an alternative school which I didn't do because I didn't want to leave my friends behind I'd have meltdowns or shutdowns almost daily and would often go non-verbal because of that and it wasn't uncommon to see me communicating with a notepad story time actually one time I was in the middle of a shutdown and I had my head down on the table and that was mainly because of how loud the classroom was and because of how loud it was the substitute teacher that I had couldn't hear me sobbing and she thought that I was asleep so she began shaking the table and telling me to wake up and join those of attention which made me so much harder and then she finally heard me and then she was like oh my god I'm so sorry she was a really nice teacher but this leading to my next point that I feel like teachers didn't not take me seriously at all for example I'd say to a teacher that I can't go to lessons because it would just be too overwhelming and for some reason a lot of teachers like to think that I was just saying that because I was misbehaving so I'd either have to go to lessons and prove them wrong and then actually just end up ruining my whole day or I would just lock myself in the toilet for hours listening to music or reading to try and calm myself down and then because I was missing and it was a safeguarding issue that's when teachers wanted to say oh if you were over on you could have just spoken to us you know you have these people to speak to we could have helped you very annoying and not true there was a point where I was really struggling with depression but I kept quiet about it to my mom and I just didn't want anybody to know that I was struggling so I didn't ask to go home I just forced myself to be in school at a point where I was just constantly crying with tears on my face I just didn't care obviously some of the things I've shared today are pretty vulnerable moments but I'm willing to share them if it makes you feel like you're not alone so thank you so much for coming along and as always I'll see you in the next one