Birkenstocks

I remember when I was like, you know what? I'm about to be like my white friends and I'm about to go get me some Birkenstocks. And I put on them fucking Birkenstocks and when I tell you, God damn did Jesus walk in these shits or did he fly? Like these shits ain't on my fucking feet. Not only do they feel like wood shoes, they are wood shoes, they're uncomfortable as shit. I mean, my god, they like you gotta break it in. Break it in with my blood? Oh Lord no. No, never bought another pair of Birkenstocks. I said I'm gonna leave that for the white bitches. Y'all are strong as hell. Y'all just wearing them shits willy-nilly with them big ass t-shirts on and the Birkenstocks. I went to my brother, um, high school, little pep rally or game or whatever. And every little girl, big ass t-shirt, Birkenstocks on. I said, dumb dedicated motherfuckers. Dumb shoes right there might be one of the most difficult shoes I've ever bought in my life. I said, my god. Blisters, bleeding. Oh my god, they were pinning me to the cross. I'm just joking y'all, just joking, you know. I believe in the Lord. Everybody relax. Just a joke.