Post by @malariaotm

when I was younger, give or take 4 years old, my dad got jumped by a bunch of random men while coming back from watching the Olympics. totally besides the point, but integral piece of information to remember. So following this, they knew my brother and I would have to eventually see him in the hospital, but they didn’t want their autistic daughter and young toddler to develop anxiety (that early on,) and/or a fear of people, so they lied and said he got his injuries after accidentally falling down a set of stairs. pretty horrific made up experience anyways, didn’t know why they landed on that tbh, but oh well, and I guess in a way it did work because my brother could not care. but I did, and obviously assumed it could’ve been only one kind of stairs. escalators. I had already been on the fence about their arrival to begin with and that tall tale sealed it and so, following that event, I developed an incredibly intense phobia of escalators that’s followed me into adulthood. Logically I know now it’s stemmed from trauma and I’m told by professionals like nurse b it’s unrealistic, but I don’t buy that. I avoided escalating my entire life, opting to take even the foulest smelling elevators or just not go up or down, some scenarios resulting in me having to be dragged by my legs and or arms just so I wouldnt be separated from my family, the whole time I kicked and screamed like I was getting a flu shot, and that would still be the case now, if not for the fact that legally I’m in charge of myself now. Though all this to be said I’m very nervous about future scenarios, specifically finding a lover, because how am I going to meet up at a mall for a date and not embarrass myself when I approach escalators identically to how buddy does in elf, except turn up the volume and broaden the spectrum. On another unrelated note, who knew Alfredo from Batman wasn’t married, 😛 #buckybarnes #marveltok #bucky #thewintersoldier #fyp