Post by @louisethompson

This morning I had a cry and it caught me off guard but it felt gooooood. It’s pretty rare for me to cry these days simply because I don’t have the capacity to. I’m doing a lot of stuff in the day and at night and managing a lot of responsibility, but what I’m not doing a lot of is sitting with my emotions. All that important processing stuff has sat at the bottom of my priority list for a while. I was bumbling through the morning routine and everything seemed to go wrong. Not major cataclysmic disasters, but lots of little things. Everything I did or touched seemed to implode right in front of me. After my 3rd or 4th nuisance it started to erode at my soul and my patience. Ryan asked whether I was ok, and I pretended that I was ‘good’ in a robust and grown up demeanour. I was frustrated because he was reading the paper in silence whilst I was ‘doing it all’ with a big fat *fake* smile on my face. Then I realised (much like a lot of my parent friends these past few weeks) that I wasn’t good. I wasn’t feeling very good or grounded at all. When he came downstairs following a quick change I said that I was feeling quite stressed, and he looked almost relieved (which shocked me). From experience men don’t love a morning menty b before 8am. But I had a quick cry and a hug and it lasted a hot minute but it felt great. 2 minutes of recogntition was all I needed. I desperately wanted to watch Leo at his first football club session of the season but we collectively decided it was best if I have 40 minutes to myself instead to sort out the overwhelming amount of house admin and my tears and frustration too. I really needed that time for a moment of peace and quiet. A quiet home, a quiet porridge and a quiet cryptic crossword… also a chance to clean and hoover and do the laundry and shower and tend to the dogs etc. As I slowed down and indulged in a moment of solitude I realised why I was stressed…. It was because of the monumental (often invisible) load of being a woman 🫥…. The list of things we try to stay on top of looks like a lot when you break it down: - looking somewhat presentable - ⁠clean hair - ⁠clean clothes - ⁠tidy home - good social life 👇🏼 - looking somewhat presentable - clean hair - clean clothes - tidy home - good social life - even better child’s social life - good relationship with partner - good career - good work life balance - good sport/ fitness - managing chronic health condition - making sure diary is organised - planning school holidays - managing work with 3pm pick up and half days on Fridays - getting everyone fed well - managing finances and budget - keeping the house clean and organised - keeping the fridge stocked - knowing when the vaccinations are - school friends presents - parties - dentists visits - doctors visits - new uniform/ clothes / shoe sizes - low loo roll levels - managing everyone’s moods - suppressing your own feelings so the household remains calm - hosting - cooking breakfast lunch dinner - managing medication - homework - remembering important dates and milestones - printing photos, sorting baby albums - parcels - managing subscriptions - meter readings, boiler services - dog walks, appointments - cutting everyone’s toe nails - packing school bag - packing every bag This list just scratches the surface. And we only have one. Please do add any more musings in the comments x ❤️ #motherhood #mumsoftiktok #mumtok #parenthood