Kids cut my hair off while I was asleep.

Kids cut my hair off while I was asleep. And I sent the internet into a frenzy because I didn't staple their nipples to their toes and make them do burpees. Just because I'm not as creative as y'all mamas with the ass whoopings, does not mean I'm not creative with my discipline methods, cause I am. Now since I can't enjoy no sleep in my room in my house, y'all ain't got no room. Sleep in the couch. No pillow, no cover, no blanket on the couch. And since y'all so fucking bored, go outside and pull all the weeds up out the back and the front yard. Oh, you don't want me to get the proper rest so I can cook you a well-cooked meal, sandwiches and noodles? Thank you. Oh, it's funny that I look like Mr. Burns. Go grab that microphone and the karaoke machine from upstairs and stand outside in front of the house with a bunch of signs that say I disrespect my mother. And how about you say how sorry you are over and over on that mic. Oh, the pranks and shit you saw on YouTube inspired you to do some shit like that to your mother? iPads, iMacs, iPhones, give me all that shit. Mine. Just when you think you tired, go ahead and go in the garage and mop the floors, the walls, the ceilings and all that shit. I need you to go outside and catch me three grasshoppers, one bee and two lightning bugs. And at the end of the week, I want a full-blown essay on everything you learned this week by doing them extra chores. And I love to know how important it is to respect your mom. You're over here scalped.