My mom regrets having me

My mom regrets having me, and we've had this conversation and I am so grateful we have, and I think all women that are considering having children need to have this kind of conversation and this blunt honesty because it almost feels like it's more uncommon than not. Um, and you can sound off in the comments because I know you will. But we sat down and we were talking about it because I'm 29, I'm debating what I want to do in my future, and she had me at 37, she got married at 36, and she was like, Sarah, like, I love you, and life is what it is, and like we are best friends. Like she is such a wonderful mother, let me get that straight. She is a wonderful mother. I have always been so grateful that she is my mom, my entire life. Even when I was a bitchy teenager, I've always been so grateful for my mother. But she was like, I had you because I was afraid of losing your father. He really wanted a child, and the second you were handed to me, I never had a maternal instinct. Like, I regretted the decision. I realized like I made a bad decision for myself, and that had nothing to do with you. And I've never felt that. I've never felt like she regretted me. I've never felt like anything because she is such a wonderful person and she put herself on the back burner to be a mother to me. And I see that happen so much with mothers. Like, even like I could talk about my father and be like, he was present, he'd go to my basketball games, he'd pick me up from school sometimes, like he paid his portion of the bills, he did the lawn, but like my mom had to have dinner on the table every night, my mom had to do all of our laundry, like my mom had to pack us all lunches, and still work a 40-hour work week, if not more. She also led my Girl Scout troop, was on PTA, etc. And she had no time for herself. It was either like my dad would go to bed early so she was taking care of me into the night, like it was always her, and she had to give up so much of herself to keep the house going while working and doing all these things because nowadays like a one-parent at home is a luxury, it's not a standard like it once was. And she had to give up so much of herself and so much of her identity. Like even now I started a photography business and she's like, I could tell part of her, I got my love of photography from her, and I could tell part of her like wished she could have done this, and I know it's because of me. Like I know that, there's no if ands or buts about it, and it breaks my heart because she truthfully deserves so much more. And I think women need to have these conversations because that's what I struggle with with having kids, of like I know I would lose my entire self on wanting to care for them, and it is so, um, like I have a wonderful partner, but it is so hard to pick a partner that is helpful and supportive and present and there, that like there's just so many variables and children are so delicate. Like I feel like I know almost everybody I know is in therapy healing from people that just shouldn't have had children, genuinely, or at least one parent that shouldn't have had children. And I learned so much in this conversation with her, so I implore you to like ask your parents if they're still around, um, or ask your friends' parents or ask your friends that are parents and just like get the discussion going because this is such an important topic.