My post miscarriage update:

I had a miscarriage a month and a half ago and I want to come on here and explain how it has truly changed my life because I definitely have a different outlook and I feel like a totally different person from when I actually first found out I was pregnant to now being a month and a half post DNC and I want to share it in case anyone that is going through this has the light at the end of the tunnel or anyone that's going through this right now something that my husband said to me that totally changed my perspective and I do feel like a different person from when I first found out I was pregnant. I feel really guilty for how I felt in that moment. I felt like I wasn't ready, I felt scared, selfishly I was like, I'm not ready for this. But I look back and I'm like, oh my god, we were. Why was I freaking out? My husband was so happy. I could have been way happier than I was if I'm being so honest with you guys and for that, I'm heartbroken. I feel guilty about. But something that my husband said to me, which is the point I'm trying to get to is, God sent you and us, that baby, to show you that you are ready. Although you felt the way you did in that moment when you called me and said I'm miscarrying, something's not right. You were so heartbroken and you knew in that moment that you actually truly wanted. You wanted to be a mom. And that baby, you'll never feel that way again. Like that baby changed your life. It changed our life. And now we know like this is truly something that we want. Even though I feel horrible saying that, because I lost that. And it's now all that we both want. And that's why I'm just trying to look at it or if you're someone that had a miscarriage the first go around, like that baby did change you for the better. Like it completely changed my life. Like the way I feel now about having kids is not the way I felt two months ago. Two months ago I was like, nope, not for me. Maybe some point, maybe next year, but it's not for me. And God and this baby was like, no, like this is for you. And I'm going to show you that. And I'm going to take that away. Because I need to show you that you are ready for this. And I don't know if I'm speaking in circles and I'm like talking in circles basically, but what I'm trying to say is I've come to peace with it now and I know that I have found that I have found that I know that it happened for a reason. And the next time we get pregnant, I feel like I'm going to be like, oh my god, what a miracle. And that baby changed my entire mindset. To even be able to say, oh my god, what a miracle. I would have never said that six months ago. It's crazy. Because I would have never said that.