Why we would fail on sharks tank

Why we would fail on sharks tank people tell me almost daily that i should put my small business on Shark Tank or Dragon's Den. So I thought I'd make a video to explain why I think we would impress the sharks but then also explain why they would never ever invest in a business like ours. First up, let's talk about the impressive stuff. So my name's Haley, I've been running my company Oak & Willow for the last 6 years. Started from my dining room and scaled it all the way up into a multi million dollar corporation. We make and sell sustainable cleaning and self care products. Some of the stats that I think they would be particularly impressed with are that we've done eight figures in lifetime sales. We have a $0 customer acquisition cost and haven't paid for any advertising for five years. Here's we have a beyond healthy return customer rate and we have a growth rate of about 30%. Needless to say, business is booming. Now you might hear that and think, well, yeah, that's all sounds really good. Why wouldn't they wanna invest in a company like that? So let me explain that part. The first thing that they would absolutely hate is the way that my company is run internally. So we run on a model inspired by communist conflict theory. So me and all my staff make the exact same wage. We all have the same full range health care benefits. I'll have unlimited pay time Off with the three week minimum and high wages, so all of the wealth of the company is redistributed among the entire team through our wages and through the profit share model. So I don't take home any extra dividends as the C.E.O. I make the exact same as my staff. All of that wealth gets redistributed and a shark is not looking for that. Next, as I mentioned at the beginning of this video, we make and sell sustainable cleaning and self care products, but we don't do it like a lot of our competitors do. We focus on making products that actually reduce consumption instead of trying to get you to buy more and more frequently. Our solid shampoo can last a year, our solid dish soap replaces six full size plastic bottles. We make concentrated tablets that you dilute at home. Because genuine sustainability starts with purchasing less often. It's reducing your consumption. And I don't think the sharks would like this. When I watch the show, I think they're really looking for businesses that cause you to buy over and over and over again as frequently as possible. Next, let's get into our profit margins. We work on a pretty thin margin. From the very beginning, it has been a goal of mine to keep as much of our manufacturing as possible in our warehouse here in North Bay, Ontario. I think the Sharks would immediately want us to outsource to reduce the cost of labour, but I love that my staff make the products in house, all make high wages. I would never break that. The Sharks also would not be impressed with our entire line. We have hundreds of skews because we have everything from dish soap to laundry to toilet cleaner to shampoo, conditioners, sugar scrubs and everything in between. I think if a shark invested, they would immediately tell me to narrow our products down to maybe the top 5 or top 10 best sellers because of course, their focus is profit. I love Shark Tank. I love Dragon's Den. I watch these shows all the time. But my business is not set up to be invested in by some sort of a private investor. These are venture capitalist looking for a quick buck and big big bucks. The way that we run, I will never be rich like that. In fact, it is not my goal at all. My goal is to create good jobs, products that I love and use myself to community outreach and get back to my community. As impressive as my business is, I think I would be a shark's worst nightmare. What do you think?