IT ALSO ISN'T FAIR

DON'T TELL COMEDY DON'T TELL COMEDY Squatch IT ALSO ISN'T FAIR 'CAUSE WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY, YOUR HUSBAND, SOMEHOW GETS HOTTER, I POP OUT A BABY, HE GAINS 10 LBS AND HAS SALT AND PEPPER HAIR, AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "HE LOOKS GOOD!" HE HAS SALT AND PEPPER HAIR, I HAVE SALT AND PEPPER HAIR, I LOOK LIKE I EAT NEWPORT CIGARETTES AS A SNACK. HE HAS A DAD BOD NOW AND IT'S TRENDING FOR THE SUMMER. SO HE HAS A DAD BOD AND I HAVE A FUPA. THAT'S NOT FAIR. HE HAS A DAD BOD AND PEOPLE LOVE IT, AND I HAVE A FAT UPPER P*SSY AREA. FAT UPPER P*SSY AREA. SOMEBODY LOOKED AT A STOMACH— SOMEBODY LOOKED AT A STOMACH AND WENT, "THAT'S A FAT P*SSY— AND IT'S GROSS!" "NO!" MY STOMACH, NO! ABOVE YOUR P*SSY AND DISGUSTING! YOU HAVE A NASTY TOP YOUR UPPER P*SSY IS GROSS! YOU ARE FAT AND DISGUSTING HIM: YOU: NASTY! FAT COW! GROSS! CHUNKY!! CHUNKY! GROSS!!! AND THE THING IS, DO YOU KNOW WHY WE GET A FUPA? IT'S BECAUSE AS WE AGE, WE LOSE ESTROGEN. AND THE ONLY PLACE WE MAKE ESTROGEN IS IN OUR UTERUS! OUR BODY IS HOLD ON TO IT! DO YOU KNOW HOW STRONG A UTERUS IS? DO YOU KNOW THAT A UTERUS CAN EAT AN IUD? DO YOU KNOW THAT? MY SISTER HAS EATEN TWO IUDS! HER INSURANCE DOES NOT BELIEVE HER! ANY QUESTIONS SIR?