you start to realise that men are only comfortable around you

@chloe.juliett

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Why it worked

The video taps into a common and relatable experience for many women, offering a psychological explanation for behaviors they may have encountered. The creator's direct and assertive tone, combined with personal anecdotes, makes the content engaging and shareable.

Summary

The creator discusses a societal phenomenon where men feel uncomfortable liking women and soothe this discomfort by making women feel uncomfortable. She argues that this stems from internalized misogyny and societal conditioning that teaches men to view feminine traits negatively. The creator shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how men may act in ways that create discomfort, even when attracted to women, due to these ingrained beliefs.

Structure

1Men's discomfort with liking women leads them to make women uncomfortable.
2Societal conditioning and patriarchy create a hierarchy where men feel they must dominate.
3Men assume women don't deserve kindness due to negative societal messaging.
4Personal anecdote about a college acquaintance's behavior.
5Explanation of how men's internal messaging prevents them from liking women and leads to bullying.
6Men are attracted to women but cannot express it kindly due to conflicting societal norms.

On-screen text

you start to realise that men are only comfortable around you Men are uncomfortable liking women and they soothe this by making her feel uncomfortable if they're making you uncomfortable to some capacity. Like, you are not allowed to have regulated nervous systems around them. because they need to feel that hierarchy between the two of you that the Patriarchy and misogyny allows. He needs to be looking down on you, and if he's not, he's uncomfortable. You see this in all the comments from men when they read about how a man is treating a woman. Well, they have to assume that this lady doesn't deserve it. They have to assume that she's utter garbage. Which is interesting, right? Because men are these big, strong, smart guys, and yet they think that these men are doing these things for women who don't deserve it. And in their mind, it's because there isn't a woman who deserves kind treatment like that. There just isn't one. Like when I was in college, there was this guy that I was friends with, and he would say something, and then later on, hi. Hey, my husband literally just brought me some flowers. Anyway, I remember this guy in college, he was sitting in the sun, we were outside, and he was like, oh, man, it's so hot. And, like, he's starting to say he's sweating or whatever. And then a few minutes later, I was like, ooh, it is hot. He's like, It's just because we're sitting in the sun. And it's things like that. Men won't even agree with their own words if they come out of your mouth because they just need you to be uncomfortable. And I think it's a whole societal thing for men who are like this specifically, I think it's because in their minds they're not allowed to like any female type of people things because those are bad, right? Because what do you learn? Like, don't run like a girl, don't do this like a girl. Like you're a girl, girl, girls. Bad, bad, bad, bad. So they're not allowed to like you and therefore they have to bully you. They have to make you feel like crap. Cause they also want to be around you. They like us, they're attracted to us, they have a magnet pull to us. And yet that's conflicting. It's conflicting to this internal messaging. And I think that's what creates this system where men wanna be around us, but they cannot be nice to us. At least it's a small part of it.