This is your average day in Austin Texas. You wake up hungover because you've spent the last two days at concerts. You have the worst headache, but you have plans today and you live in Frugerville, not Austin. But you tell everybody that you live in Austin. So now you've got a little commute too. And you already know that the 35 is gonna be jam packed because it's South by Southwest weekend. But you get ready, you get in your car, and you drive because you have a hinge date. This guy that you've never met asks him to come over at 1 AM before you've even met him. And he lives at the Arnold on E 6th Street. He's lazy and doesn't want to walk far, so you guys are getting coffee at Clergy. His hinge profile said he was 61, but you pull up, you look around for him and he ends up being eye level with you. In the first 20 minutes of the date, he decides to tell you how much he hates Californians and you're from California. So you disagree, but you respectfully stay quiet. After being stuck in that coffee shop for five hours because you forgot to tell him that you had made up plans afterwards, you manage to escape. But he texts you and asks if you want to go see a friend perform at a small little venue later that night. This small little venue is Stubbs. But first, you want a mango sticky rice from Radio South. So you go there because you're not caffeinated enough after Clergy. You park on the street, you go in, you grab a matcha, you parked legally, but the butt of your car is sticking out. So I guess not legally. And you're only in there for five minutes. You come back to your car and you have a parking ticket. The guy then wants to go to Barton Springs with you and you've already had enough, but you can't get him to stop texting you. So you figure it's fine. He'll stop talking to you at the end of the day. So you go to Barton Springs. It's Saturday. Everyone and their mama wants to go. It's 101 degrees outside. So when you get there and you can't find parking, you're circling looking for parking for an hour. You get down, you walk, then there's clouds in the sky, starts thundering and now there's lightning and they close down Barton Springs. So you're stuck with this guy and it's pouring rain. And you can either go home back up to Frugerville or you can stay in Austin for the rest of the day because you have another show at concourse later that night. You decide to ditch this guy, drive back up to Frugerville and sit in the traffic. Takes you an hour and a half to get home to Frugerville. You rotted there for a bit, get ready, drive all the way down to near the airport where concourse is at 11. The friends you're supposed to meet were kind of fake. You met them in a sorority at UT Austin. You graduated from UT Austin. And they decided to lie to you and say that they're not going out that night. But when you refresh their Instagrams the next day, they had totally gone out and abandoned you. So you decided to go into concourse by yourself. And you see that guy there with his group of friends and they are following you and stalking you because you had mentioned that you're going to concourse that night. He comes up to you and is trying to get you to go home with him. And by the grace of God, you escape. You leave early before the show ends at 11:15. You lie to him and say you have an appointment in the morning. And you go home, you get back up to Frugerville and you don't get to bed till 3:30. Then you wake up the next day with a horrible hangover.
