I can’t leave the house for one week without it just falling apart 😩 least it wasn’t my fault 😎

Nothing better than coming home from a vacation to a huge disaster. I just love that so much. We got home late last night and I made sure before I left to clean my entire house. Make sure I got all my laundry done. That way when I got home, I even did all my laundry in Florida. So when we got home, I would be fresh, clean, getting ready to just start life again, right? After vacation, because who the fuck wants to do that? Not me. Well, Susan walked in, I smelled something. And I'm like, what is it? Why does it smell like diarrhea in my house? I'm walking around, I'm like, what is it? What? Nothing? Couldn't find it. Been everywhere. I go downstairs last night because I didn't get to wash the dog beds while I was in Florida. So I'm gonna go downstairs and wash them. I go downstairs and I'm like, squish, squish, squish. What the fuck? Squish, squish, squish. What the fuck? So I look around. I'm like, you know what? Y'all remember when I watered the yard last year? John gave me the hardest damn time about that. So I just quit watering the yard this year. And I had set up an irrigation system in the front yard because we did all that landscape and I wanted it to be able to water under the ground and all that without having to set up sprinklers and everything else. So I turned it on and turned it off. You turn it on, you turn it off. Well, then before we left, apparently my husband said, guess what? For once in my damn life, I'm gonna go water the yard. He goes out there, turns on the irrigation system and we leave. For seven days the irrigation system was running. It leaked into the motherfucking garage. And it ruined all my Halloween stuff. Yeah. That smell of diarrhea is rotten Halloween decoration.