Authors! Drop crazy lore about your book

Matt Dinniman says here, he originally wrote this book in second person and I can't unhear it. I'm going to make it your problem too. Here's what this might have sounded like if it was written in second person. God damn it, Donut, you say. You had both been knocked over but unhurt by the shockwave. It had been big, bigger than you'd expected. Donut cascaded from the ceiling. A terrible hissing noise followed the explosion. An entire wall of notifications appeared, most of them achievements, but you had indeed killed the neighborhood boss. There was no fanfare this time, but another bronze star appeared by both of your names. Were there really babies in there, like goblin babies, you asked? I don't know. What do you think? Do you like it? Do you not like it?