Post by @bxpica55o

Faith Mangope asked on Metro FM:“Where are men when women are dying?”And I didn't take offence, bafethu.Because honestly, I understand the question. Especially with what we've just seen around Kempton Park. But there's something else we need to talk about. When women are raising issues concerning women, that's not always the time for men to respond with, “But what about us?” Yes, men are dying too. Yes, men struggle with suicide. Yes, men are victims of violence. And we're quiet. That's the uncomfortable part. Men die every day and many of us don't even ask who is checking on the men. Men are suicidal and we tell them to “man up.” Men are struggling financially, emotionally and psychologically, and too often there's nobody asking, “Are you okay, broer?”So yes, men's issues matter.But maybe instead of using them to silence women's pain, we should ask why we're so quiet about our own pain in the first place.Because if we are going to talk about men being leaders, then leadership has to mean something. A leader doesn't only speak when his own group is being discussed. A leader listens. A leader protects. A leader provides. A leader takes responsibility. A leader stands up when something is wrong whether it's happening to his wife, his daughter, his son, his neighbour or another man.And honestly, we don't have enough male role models doing this.Too many boys are learning manhood from social media, from music, from the streets, from angry influencers and from men who themselves never had a healthy example of what being a man looks like.Then we wonder why the next generation is struggling. Where are the fathers? Where are the mentors?Where are the men teaching boys accountability?Where are the men teaching boys that strength isn't violence?Where are the men teaching boys that providing isn't just about money?Where are the men showing boys that protecting doesn't mean controlling?Because if we're serious about leadership, it has to start much closer to home.In your family. In your street. In your community.And perhaps that's why Faith's question shouldn't offend us.It should challenge us.Not because every man is responsible for every crime.But because every man should be asking himself: “What kind of example am I setting for the boys watching me?”Because a society doesn't just need more men.It needs more men worth following.