My husband cheated on me after 18 years and he is the gift that keeps on giving still.

My husband cheated on me after 18 years and he is the gift that keeps on giving still. Honestly, I had the best birthday I've had in a long time since we separated yesterday. I felt loved, I had so many nice messages and presents and thoughtful presents, like things that people know about what I love and it it really makes a big difference. What I got from Pinocchio, every year, well, every year since we separated, I've had really nice messages. Um, last year, obviously we were blocked, but he knew I was with my bestie. He messaged her and said, wish Lisa a happy birthday and she messaged back saying, oh, you remember then. He's like, I've been with her 18 years, of course I remember. Hope she's having a nice day. Oh, that's nice what you're doing. This year, I was having a lovely day. We went shopping, we went to Joe and the Juice, we went for a spa afternoon and sat in the most gorgeous rooftop pool at the Thermal Spa and Bath. If you haven't been, it's a very good recommendation to go. And when we came out of the spa, because we couldn't have our phones in there, I had a, well, she had the message to give to me, demanding, demanding, demanding that I change my name from Hayes back to my maiden name because it's his family name and he doesn't want me having it. No? And he's phoned for divorce as soon as he gets a copy of the marriage certificate. Thank you. That's the best birthday present I could get because I'm not paying for it and I've said that from the start. I wasn't the one that couldn't keep it in my pants. I wasn't the one that lied and cheated. I wasn't the one that disrespected me, not with one barmaid, but with two barmaids. Let's not forget the first barmaid, because I don't forget anything. I've done nothing wrong and I know from his point of view, we've got the I didn't go to his gran's funeral, I took him for granted, I worked too much. The list is endless and he's a Taurus and he will take it to his grave of all the things he can justify why he couldn't keep it in his pants because it was my fault. He's even said to me, this, it's your fault that it happened with her. He's even said that to me. But I don't take, I'm, I did take the blame, I don't anymore. I can only control my actions, I can't control what someone else does. So, I believe I'm good enough. I believe actually, he said I deserve better in many of his messages, which I still have, in case he wants me to post them so people know I'm not lying. I deserve better, he's a C U N T. That was constant in his messages. And yes, he is right. I believe him now. But it took me a long time to get to my self-worth. He also demands in there that I take down my posts because they're diff, what they call, defamatory. If he would like to tell me what I have said in my posts that are not truthful, please go ahead and tell me, because I have only stated the truth. And unfortunately, if that makes her question their relationship more than they already did, because I've seen the messages that she sent to my friend on the night he stayed at my house after the family gathering, and my friend says ask her if he slept with her. She'll tell you she's got nothing to hide. And she said, I don't want to talk to her. He's done it before, he'll probably do it again and she'll probably do it out of spite. Well, no, because I sort of know my self-worth, love, you know. So I would love to know what he would like me to, if I have said something untruthful, I will remove that post. I'm quite happy to. So, if he would like to tell me, um, because he's got my email address because he emailed me. I actually don't use that email anymore, but I get a wizard alert. But that also just proves how harassment I've had because they've been emailing my work and emailing lots of different people that they can find within my work to email my work. Um, but they've obviously got my old email address and they've got my home address. So if they had a problem they wanted to address with me, they could have sent it there, but instead they decided to harass me at work. You know, that is their choice. That's fine. Consider myself quite a resilient person now and there's three things about the new Lisa that has taken me a long time to get there. I won't be bullied, I won't be manipulated and I won't be taken for a fool anymore. And the child arrangements are very, very clear. Since September 2025, she has been picking up the children from school because he doesn't have a license still because of the drink driving ban. That again is a his him problem, not a me problem and a consequence of his actions of drink driving. Nothing to do with me. She drops back to school on a Monday morning, again. Child arrangements is nothing to do with me pick up drop off. I have had legal advice on this and they said it's nothing to do with you how he gets her to and from school as long as he has got a home that he deems fit for your children to stay at. I can't do anything about that. So I've taken that on the chin. He's now saying that he wants her collected and dropped to him and he wants to drop back by 6 o'clock on a Sunday night. Unfortunately, I work a lot of bank shifts on a Sunday because I'm a sole income family. I have to juggle childcare. There's so many mums out there and I, I honestly, he doesn't work. He has not got a job at the moment. So why do you not help me out? Why are you not helping the mother of your children out? Why are you not wanting to have your children more? Why are you doing the bare minimum? And that disappoints me to my core because I've spent half my life with someone that I've bloody adored. I would probably never love anybody like I loved him and my walls are up because of how he treated me. It actually makes me, it makes me upset for my children. It really, really does. Yesterday, my son wrote me a card. It took me over the edge, ladies. I was crying. I won't read it all out, but he said that he's quite happy for me to read it out. You've been through so much and honestly don't know how you've managed to stay as strong as you've been. You've had to deal with things that you never deserve, Mum. But somehow you've always kept going and been there as much as you can for me and Effie. I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you. I probably don't say it enough, but I notice everything that you do and how much you care. What's making me emotional, honestly last night when I read it, oh, it's making me emotional. When I read it, I gave him the biggest hug and I was like, oh, I really love you. I said thank you. And I've really tried hard to, he took it really hard. He was a daddy's boy and he didn't like the whole change and obviously I was sad and it's noticeable for a kid in their teens to hard because it isn't easy, not every day's easy, but doing it on your own, fair play to all those solo mums out there. Because I, I never wanted it. I wanted that dream family home, especially as an adopted person and that's another thing that upsets me. He knew how much family meant to me and I feel that was slightly robbed. I feel like the really, like the young years from like two to five, I was in a bit of a, like, daze, a little bit because I was struggling just to get through the day, financially, make ends meet. I mean, I've had to change everything and it's bloody hard, but I will do anything for my kids and I feel that he won't and that it really upsets me, but I feel, my personal opinion, I could be totally wrong, I feel a lot of it comes from her and jealousy and I have no want to get back together with him. I did at the start, I don't now and if they're happy in their relationship, they do, let them do them, I'm doing me now and it's taken me a long time to get to that place where I know I deserve better and I just think it's sad that she has such an issue with me when actually she came in to our marriage knowing me and the kids were there but still went for it still, which is fine, that's her. I know he had the vows to me, she obviously owes me no dis, you know, no respect, but as a girl's girl, I would have never done it, but each to their own. And then my son just said, thank you for always being there. I love you. I hope this year and the next is better and brings you happiness that you deserve. I just thought from a 15, nearly 16 year old, that like made my day. And I don't know whether I get a court order. I mean, I asked about a week's holiday. I would, I would like to know when he would like the children and I just think from their household dynamic, they, they, obviously she's got kids from another partner and they go every week to their dad. The dad takes them on holiday. They've got a much more structure, but I feel like she likes one thing for her kids, but she doesn't want my kids coming into their dynamic and I think it's sad that he doesn't stick up for his children more and say, I know it's your house that I'm living under your roof, but I would like to see my children then. Oh, why not help Lisa out because she is raising those kids on her own, paying for everything on her own and she's not asking me for any money because I'm not working. And actually, fair play to Lisa for not, not hounding me for money. Thank you, Lisa, for stopping the court taking me to court to take money in my passport, which is what I did with CSA. I said, no, don't do it. Maybe I should have. I stopped that and at the time he was grateful, but I think he's forgetting everything that I have done. That is my rant. I'd like it, I find getting it off my chest stops me getting depressed. And I'm in a really good place and I won't let him bring me down and I've said, if I have to get a court order and I have to get Cafcass involved, then I'm happy to do so because my children's benefit is going to come first and that should come first to him. And also I want some normality in my life. I feel like he deliberately wants to keep me down and doesn't want me to be happy. Um, so yeah, that's my Thursday thoughts.