Hook

Do you know how mad I would be if somebody froze me for 30 fucking years? And I was supposed to be a 90s baby, but I'm born in the year 2025. Having to grow up with constant brain rot, and I show speed barking at people, missing LeBron's prime, missing Tom Brady's prime, but not being able to grow up and live my early life without the internet. And then on top of all of that, you decide to name me Thaddeus? I swear to God, the moment I gained consciousness and was able to process what my parents did, I would have to squabble up. At that point, they left me no choice. Like, being born in the big year of 2025, especially when you could have been born in the 90s, is like the complete opposite of winning the genetic lottery. I'm not going to lie, I hope this dude's life turns out beautiful and he has a great life, but I know if I was him, me personally, I'd be pissed.
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