don't marry down

don't marry down The worst colleague you'll ever have is the guy who knows that you're actually better at the job than him, but he thinks, that he should be more successful than you. And so when you're put on a project together, he'll alternate between this kind of slightly subtly smarmy warmth where he'll say things like "oh, so what's the secret?" And you can just feel, You can hear him congratulating himself in his head every time he's a little bit nice to you, getting you to do things for him, to serve him, which, makes him feel great. And then on very rare occasion, you'll see a kind of cold rage that will terrify you. a kind of cold rage that will terrify you. Because you will feel in his anger that you are beneath his compassion. You're beneath his contempt. lower to him than even an annoying mosquito. You're like an obstacle for him that doesn't even deserve to be an obstacle. Imagine how horrible it would be to be stuck on a project with that guy. And now imagine that the project is your life because you've married that guy. That is why you have got to cut a guy off at the first and merest whiff of resentment that you feel against your own happiness, the instant you detect it. That is why, even if your natural desires coincidentally perfectly align with the life of staying at home and homemaking and raising the kids, which, I have nothing but the deepest profoundest respect for. on every level, you should not be with the guy who would only take you while you do those things. A guy who truly loves you, no matter what ends up being his level of success or yours by any measure of worldly concerns, will always feel that you hung the moon. And he will be humbled that you love him, and he will feel humbled by his love for you. It's always a guy who ought to be grateful that you're with him who will spend the rest of your life punishing you for it.