Bpd is embarrassing

Bpd is embarrassing and that's why I never tell anybody I have it and I'm actually pretty shameful of it. I know I should be accepting like love who you are but it's like girl. Especially with the representation of it online or people that have experienced other people with BPD that have not been to DBT therapy because they either A, can't get a diagnosis or B, can't afford DBT therapy because, mind you, there's no medication you can take. It's just DBT therapy. And I'm like, oh, also, so I developed this and now I have to pay for it. Literally, like every aspect. There is accountability that has to be taken. I'm not going to sit here and be like, you should forgive someone with BPD for treating you poorly. I just feel bad for that person. I don't feel bad for that person because, you know, they went and said a bunch of hurtful things. But I feel bad for that person because not only did they develop it, they probably don't have the resources they need. It makes me so mad when it's romanticized online because it's like, you're going to sit here and be like, oh, he he, I have BPD, I'm so quirky. Like, girl, I had to take a walk every time I feel an emotion that's not happy. It is so exhausting to feel every single emotion. Intensely. And I've kind of learned to live with it. I got diagnosed when I was 17, but I'm almost 21 and I'm like, oh my god, like, I'm tired. I'm tired of this grandpa. Oh my god, get out of my head. And as someone who's gone to therapy and is going back to therapy because I thought I was doing better. No. I still have my moments and I just realized I was like, oh my god, great. I need to go back. Nice. I need a BPD bad. Don't get me started.