I think I figured out why I have OCD, and how I healed from it. Early on in life, there was a lot that happened to me that was out of my control. It led to a lot of anger, a lot of anxiety, a lot of sadness. And while I couldn't control the things happening to me or happening around me, my brain wanted control of something. So it decided it would try to take control of the thoughts of my mind. You see, and that turned into OCD. The themes themselves aren't as important because they usually reflect your fears. What's more important is what's really going on. And it's you feeling unsafe and unstable in your environment. So you're latching on for the need to control. That's why you try to figure out these thoughts or get rid of them or review them or do physical compulsions because you don't feel safe. Because you lack self-trust. Most likely because of what you dealt with from a young age. You couldn't control what was happening to you or around you, so you tried to control your mind. Your brain just wanted safety, control, and certainty. But that's not the way to get it. The way to get it is to control what you can and let go of what you can't. How do you find real peace? You find it in all the simple things in this life. You learn to regulate your nervous system by taking actions that serve you. By being alone with your thoughts. By practicing meditation. By slowly getting rid of habits that don't serve you anymore. By spending time in nature. By moving your body. By connecting with people. By exercising. All you got to do is start with one thing. So you can teach your mind and your body safety again. So it doesn't feel the need to control. And then there's the second half to this, which is dealing with the themes and the intrusive thoughts themselves. You see, taking all these actions that help you find peace and safety, well, it'll make you feel better, but it won't change your OCD, you know? If you continue to ruminate and place your attention on these thoughts, well, while practicing peace and safety, you also have to practice non-engagement. Because like I said in the beginning, all these themes really represent is your fears. But the fears don't matter. Okay? It's just your brain trying to find control and certainty in something. And you can undo that by allowing the thoughts to be there, but not engaging with them. You learn to coexist with the thoughts and the feelings, but to not try to get rid of them. You learn to review them, seek reassurance, avoid things. Do physical compulsions. None of it. No matter how loud the intrusive thoughts are, or how anxious you get, you stop playing the game. You stop engaging. Because every time you engage, you reinforce the thought. This takes time and practice, and it's not an instant fix. It takes time for the way that you feel to catch up with these new actions. Quick recap. You felt safe and unstable in your life. Your brain didn't like that everything was out of its control, so it tried to control your own thoughts in your own mind. But all that does is make things worse. So in order to undo that, you need to find safety and peace in your current life, in your present moment. And drain those thoughts and themes of their power by practicing non-engagement. You stop playing the game. You stop engaging. Because every time you engage, you reinforce the thought. This takes time and practice, and it's not an instant fix. It takes time for the way that you feel to catch up with these new actions.
