TIME ALONE I'VE STILL GOT TO

@mattrichardson3

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SoundTikTok sound · original sound - mattrichardson3

Why it worked

The video uses relatable humor about personal privacy and relationships, delivered with a comedic persona that resonates with a broad audience. The self-deprecating jokes and exaggerated scenarios create a strong sense of shared experience.

Summary

A comedian jokes about the difficulties of finding private time for personal activities, contrasting past experiences with his mother to his current situation with his girlfriend. He humorously describes the elaborate planning and secrecy involved, comparing it to a covert operation.

Structure

1Introduction to the struggle for alone time
2Comparing past experiences with mother to present with girlfriend
3Humorous description of secrecy and planning
4The awkwardness of being caught
5Justification for the activity

On-screen text

TIME ALONE I'VE STILL GOT TO W*NK IN SECRET. I USED TO HAVE TO NOW I'M JUST HIDING F**KING GIRLFRIEND. I THOUGHT ONCE I LIKED. SHE'S OUT. GO, GO, GO. THERE GOING, "MY DO THAT." PROMIESE YOU. BEFORE THE KEY IS IN THE IGNITION OF THE LAPTOP IS OUT. SAS MISSION. BAGS SHE'S TAKING WE KNOW EXACTLY HOW LONG WE'VE GOT. NAILS DONE. TEN VIDEOS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT BUT IT'S AWFUL WHEN CATCHES YOU. MUM CAUGHT ME MUM DIDN'T OFFER TO JOIN IN. I MEAN? MY GIRLFRIEND WALKS YOU'RE HAVING I GO, "YEAH, BUT SEXY ONE. I'M JUST CLEARING "IT'S MORE OF AN IF ANYTHING. SO I JUST NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON THE REST OF THE DAY."

Original caption

Trying to have some time “alone” never gets easier #standup #ukcomedy #britishhumour

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Transcript

I still got a w*nk in secret. I used to have to, now I'm just hiding from my fucking girlfriend. I thought once I liked. I could w*nk where I liked. No. She's out. Go, go, go. Some of you start there going, "My husband doesn't do that." I fucking promise you. Before the key is in the ignition of the laptop is out. It's like an SAS mission. We've seen how many bags she's taking to Tesco. We know exactly how long we've got. She's getting her nails done. Fuck me, ten videos. Do you know what I mean? But it's awful when your girlfriend catches you. Mum caught me. Mum didn't offer to join in. I mean? My girlfriend walks in, you're having a w*nk. I go, "Yeah, but it's not a sexy one. Leave me alone." I'm just clearing out the pipes. "It's more of an oil change, if anything." So I just need to concentrate on the rest of the day.