Post by @adhddadcode

My wife used to tell me everything. Plans. Appointments. Things the kids needed. Things she needed. Things I said I'd do and never did. Then one day I noticed she'd stopped. Not in some big dramatic way. Just quietly. She started handling stuff on her own and not telling me. Started making calls I used to be part of. Started running our house in a way that didn't need me to remember anything. I didn't even notice for months. That's the part that still gets me. Here are the 3 rules that made her trust me with things again: Rule [1]: Write it down before she even finishes talking. Not after. The second she starts telling me something, I open our shared note and start typing, while she's still mid sentence. Why so early? Because the moment she stops talking and something else grabs my attention, it's gone. My brain doesn't lose things over hours, it loses them in the four seconds right after someone stops talking. So I write before that gap even opens. Rule [2]: Say it back out loud before I put my phone down. Two sentences. What she just told me, repeated back in my own words. Not because I don't trust myself, but because saying it out loud helps it stick in a way that just hearing it once never does. I'm not only writing it, I'm saying it too. And she gets to watch it land, instead of wondering if I was even listening. Rule [3]: Stop setting alarms. Tie it to something you already do. I set reminders for years and still forgot half of them. It's not laziness. My brain is just bad at remembering things tied to a clock. It's way better at remembering things tied to an action I already do without thinking. So now instead of "remind me at 5pm," it's "when I put my keys in the bowl, I check the note first." Say that sentence out loud once when you make it. That's the part that actually makes it stick. Follow @adhddadcode for real systems that make dads with ADHD the husbands their wives can actually count on. 🧠 🔁 Share this with the ADHD dad whose wife has quietly stopped telling him things. 👇 What's one thing your wife stopped asking you to do because she gave up? #adhd #adhdlife #adhddad #husbandandwife #adhdrelationships