I got everything

turned down the 200k new grad job offer for most of my life, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted i worked sooo hard to get into big tech, and after two summers interning, I got a full-time offer worth around $200,000. I remember feeling like I had finally reached the point I had spent years working toward. like I had done everything I was supposed to do and could finally say that I made it but I think I had become so focused on reaching that reality that I never really stepped outside of it to ask whether the life I was working toward was one I actually wanted. I thought so much about how it would feel to achieve it, but not nearly enough about what it would feel like to actually live that life every day there was nothing wrong with the opportunity - I am still so grateful I had it - and its the path that makes sense for so many. I just started to realize that I wanted the chance to build things of my own, be more creative, and have more control over what I was working on and how I spent my time. and once I admitted that to myself, it became really hard to ignore turning it down was scary because for so long, that offer represented success to me. but I’m learning that you are allowed to outgrow the version of your life that you once wanted. changing your mind doesn’t mean all the work you put in was for nothing - sometimes that work is what helps you learn enough about yourself to choose something different #computerscience #bigtech #softwareengineer