"My wife divorced me because I wouldn't wash the dishes"

"My wife divorced me because I wouldn't wash the dishes" This article came out during lockdown. In the article, the writer has mentioned that it wasn't about the literal washing of dishes, okay, but what it represented, it represented the wife feeling unheard, disrespected and basically unimportant. In my 13 years of marriage, we never had a big fight. We never fought about really big issues. It was the accumulation of small issues that we have consciously decided to ignore until one day, oh, a mountain of small issues that there's no going back. One of that small issue IS the dirty dishes. The thing is, I was somehow the unofficial designated dishwasher in the house. This is because whenever my ex husband would wash the dishes, I end up washing it because the way he washes is obviously he grew up somewhere in Europe and so he's used to having hot water as washing the dishes, right? to having dishwasher. And so he just doesn't know how to clean it properly. I wear a lot of red lipstick all the time and imagine the lipstick mark is still there after he washes it or if the utensil was oily, the utensil remains oily. So I don't know how he fucking washes, okay, but it wasn't effective. So I ended up rewashing everything that he would wash and so I just asked him at some point I said, please stop washing and just leave it in the sink. Okay? And you know what? At some point I was so frustrated that I even felt that he purposely washing really bad so that he will not be expected to wash the dishes because I just got sick of like washing the dishes. One thing that really frustrated me IS he didn't even have to do anything, he didn't have any dishwashing. I said, I will do it, just put it in the sink. But the thing is he couldn't even put the damn thing in the sink. My simple ask is that he put the dirty dishes inside the sink. Okay? But what he would always do is instead of leaving it inside the sink, so that there's no clutter on the counter space, he would purposely leave it here. And the worst part is sometimes he would even do it this way, like halfway on the counter, halfway in the sink and this one I really hated this. So when you whenever you would put a, he would do it however I don't know but like it would end up the Caesar would end up being wide open and so of course when I when when there's a lot of dirty dishes and I'm trying to wash them, wash them individually, there's a high chance that I would cut myself because it's sitting wide open. It, it WAS the biggest source of frustration for me when we were together. And when I read that article and what the dirty dishes represented, how the wife felt so disrespected and unheard, ah, I felt the pain. Because truly, that is how I felt, that, like, how can a simple request from me to just put the dirty dishes inside the sink be so difficult for you to do? We have been together for so many years and nothing has changed. And whenever I would talk to him about it, he would just like completely brush it off. And so it in the end, the article was right. It wasn't about the dirty dishes anymore. It was me feeling disrespected and unheard. There were days when I was so frustrated about the situation that I would cry, I would burst into tears because I just couldn't handle it anymore. Like, I just can't imagine. How is it so difficult for him to do such a simple task of putting the dirty dishes in the sink, not around the sink, not on the countertop, but in the sink. Can you imagine crying over dirty dishes? Like, what the fuck, right? And so, whenever I think about it now, I, I still am triggered. Because I remember just how frustrated and just disrespected I felt. And it's something that I wouldn't ever want to deal with again. Hopefully, who, if, if I do actually find a future partner, hopefully, dirty dishes is something that will not be part of our issue or any of our concern.