don't stay for the kids

don't stay for the kids I'M GETTING READY TO SAY SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. DO NOT STAY IN A MARRIAGE FOR YOUR KIDS. IT'S CONTROVERSIAL. HEAR ME OUT PEOPLE TELL ME ALL THE TIME I'M STAYING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF MY CHILDREN. MAYBE. BUT I WONDER IF THAT'S THE WHOLE TRUTH. OR ARE YOU STAYING BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID? SCARED OF BEING ALONE, DIVIDING THE HOLIDAYS, STARTING OVER. SCARED OF WHAT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE GONNA SAY. SCARED TO ADMIT THE MARRIAGE YOU FOUGHT SO HARD FOR ISN'T THE MARRIAGE THAT IT'S EVER GONNA BE. TO THINK ABOUT. YOUR KIDS ALREADY KNOW. THEY KNOW YOU DON'T LAUGH TOGETHER. THEY KNOW YOU SLEEP IN SEPARATE BEDROOMS. THEY KNOW EVERY CONVERSATION FEELS TENSE. THEY KNOW WHEN ONE PARENTS WALKED IN THE ROOM AND THE OTHER PARENT GETS QUIET. CHILDREN ARE INCREDIBLY OBSERVANT. YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE HIDING IT, BUT YOU AIN'T. THEY'RE WATCHING EVERY WORD. AND HERE'S WHAT WORRIES ME. THEY'RE LEARNING THAT THAT'S WHAT A HEALTHY MARRIAGE LOOKS LIKE. IF ALL THEY EVER SEE IS DISRESPECT, SILENCE, TENSION, BITTERNESS OR EMOTIONAL DISTANCE, THEY MAY GROW UP BELIEVING THAT THAT'S NORMAL. THAT LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO FEEL LONELY. THAT MARRIAGE MEANS SACRIFICE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS FOREVER. IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANNA TEACH YOUR KIDS? LET ME BE CLEAR. I'M NOT TELLING EVERYONE TO GET DIVORCED TODAY. SOME MARRIAGES CAN HEAL AND SOME ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. COUNSELLING WORKS FOR SO MANY PEOPLE. HONEST CONVERSATIONS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. BUT IF THE MARRIAGE IS TRULY ENDED, STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE PROTECTING THE KIDS. BY REFUSING TO FACE YOUR REALITY, YOU'RE PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM MAKING THE HARDDEST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE. AND I UNDERSTAND IT BECAUSE I DID IT. FEAR IS POWERFUL. I DID IT FOR DECADES. YOUR KIDS DON'T NEED PERFECT PARENTS. THEY NEED HONEST ONES. ADULTS WHO HAVE THE COURAGE TO CHOOSE LOVE, RESPECT, AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH, WHATEVER THAT ULTIMATELY LOOKS LIKE. BECAUSE ONE DAY, THEY'RE GONNA BUILD A RELATIONSHIP OF THEIR OWN, AND THEY'LL REMEMBER THE EXAMPLE THAT YOU SET. SO DON'T ASK YOURSELF, SHOULD I STAY FOR THE KIDS? WRONG QUESTION. ASK YOURSELF, WHAT ARE MY KIDS LEARNING BY WATCHING ME STAY? MIGHT CHANGE EVERYTHING FOR YOU. THIS MESSAGE SPEAKS TO YOU. COMMENT. CAN SEE YOU WALKING WITH ME. I'M ALSO AN ACCOUNTABILITY COACH, AND I HELP PEOPLE START OVER. WE'LL WORK ON A PLAN TOGETHER, DECIDE WHAT HELPS YOU THE MOST. AND WEEKLY 30 MINUTE COACHING CALLS. I WILL HELP YOU STAY ACCOUNTABLE. A LOT LESS THAN YOU THINK. IT'S 50 BUCKS A WEEK. THANKS FOR WATCHING, GUYS. AND I'LL SEE YOU ON THE NEXT ONE.