your adult kids owe you nothing

@starting.over.at.57

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accountability coaching

Why it worked

The video taps into a common, often unspoken, tension in parent-child relationships, offering a perspective that validates both the efforts of parents and the need for autonomy in adult children. The direct, conversational tone and relatable examples likely resonated with viewers, encouraging engagement and sharing.

Summary

The speaker argues that parents should not expect their adult children to owe them anything beyond basic respect, as the sacrifices made during childhood were part of the parental responsibility. He emphasizes that healthy adult relationships are built on mutual respect, not guilt or control, and that parents should aim to raise independent adults who want to be around them.

Structure

1Parents don't own adult children.
2Childhood sacrifices were parental responsibilities, not debts.
3Adult relationships require mutual respect, not guilt.
4Parents should foster independence, not emotional control.
5The goal is to raise adults who want to be around.
6The speaker offers accountability coaching.

Call to action

Original caption

Parents Won’t Like This… Raising your kids doesn’t mean you own them forever. Adult children should treat their parents with respect. Parents should treat their adult children with respect too. What do you think? 👇 Let’s hear it. Comment “I’m In” if you’re working on becoming a healthier version of yourself. I’m also an accountability coach. For $50 a week, we’ll have a weekly 30-minute coaching call to help you stay accountable and keep moving forward. #StartingOverAt57 #AdultChildren #Parents #Boundaries #LifeAdvice

More from @starting.over.at.57

On-screen text

your adult kids owe you nothing YOUR ADULT NOT OWEYOU A RELATIONSHIP SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU RAISED THEM. I SAID IT. I CAN ALREADY HEAR PARENTS SAYING, AFTER ALL THE SACRIFICE. YES, YOU SACRIFICED. YOU FED THEM, YOU PROTECTED THEM, HOME. YOU WORKED LONG HOURS, YOU LOST SLEEP. THOSE WERE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT YOU ACCEPTED THE DAY YOU BECAME A PARENT. THAT'S NOT STUFF THEY HAVE TO REPAY YOU FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT RAISING A CHILD GIVES THEM UNLIMITED ACCESS FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIFE TO THEIR KIDS WHENEVER YOU DEMAND IT. EVERY HOLIDAY HAS TO BE AT YOUR HOUSE. THEY HAVE TO ACCEPT YOUR CRITICISM. YOU HAVE TO DO TO DO. CHOOSING A DIFFERENT SPOUSE. RAISE THEIR CHILDREN THE WAY THAT THE GRANDPARENTS WANT. AND IF THE ADULT CHILD ESTABLISHES BOUNDARIES, THE PARENTS IMMEDIATELY SAY, YOU'RE BEING DISRESPECTFUL. RESPECT GOES BOTH WAYS, MY FRIENDS. YOU CANNOT CONSTANTLY CRITICIZE YOUR ADULT CHILD'S MARRIAGE, PARENTING, BODY, MONEY, OR CHOICES AND THEN GO, WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS? YOU MAY HAVE RAISED THEM, BUT YOU DO NOT OWN THEM. YOUR JOB WAS TO PREPARE THEM TO BECOME INDEPENDENT, ADULT, NOT TO CREATE SOMEONE WHO IS EMOTIONALLY CONTROLLED BY YOU. NO AND YES. SOME ADULT KIDS ARE SELFISH. SOME ABANDONED GOOD PARENTS. SOME TAKE EVERYTHING THEY WERE GIVEN AND THEY DON'T APPRECIATE A DAMN THING. IT HAPPENS. A PARENT ALSO HAS TO BE ASKED A PAINFUL QUESTION. DID MY CHILD WALK AWAY BECAUSE THEY'RE UNGRATEFUL OR THEY WALK AWAY BECAUSE BEING AROUND ME BECAME EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING? A QUESTION. BUT IF MULTIPLE PEOPLE KEEP DISTANCING FROM YOURSELF, MAYBE YOU GOTTA STOP BLAMING EVERYBODY ELSE. A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ADULT KIDS SHOULD BE BUILT ON MUTUAL RESPECT, NOT GUILT. SHOULD WANT THEM TO CALL BECAUSE THEY ENJOY TALKING TO YOU AND LOVE YOU, NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID IF YOU DON'T, YOU'LL PUNISH THEM. YOU SHOULD WANT THEM TO VISIT BECAUSE YOUR HOME FEELS LIKE THEIR HOME AND SAFE. AND IF EVERY HOLIDAY COMES WITH A GUILT TRIP, YOUR KIDS ARE NOT COMING OVER. THEY MAY OWE YOU HONESTY. THEY DO NOT OWE YOU CONTROL OF THEIR ADULT LIFE. THE GOAL OF PARENTING IS NOT TO RAISE CHILDREN WHO NEVER LEAVE. IS TO RAISE ADULTS WHO ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO BUILD THEIR OWN LIVES AND THEY STILL WANNA BE AROUND. MY NAME IS ERIC, AND I AM AN ACCOUNTABILITY COACH. AND IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ADULT KIDS, MAYBE I CAN HELP. HIT ME WITH AN INBOX IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN SEEING WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP YOU. APPRECIATE YOU WATCHING, GUYS, AND I'LL SEE YOU ON THE NEXT ONE.

Transcript

your adult kids owe you nothing. your adult kids do not owe you a relationship simply because you raised them. I said it. I can already hear parents saying, after all the sacrifice. Yes, you sacrificed. You fed them, you protected them, you gave them a home. You worked long hours, you lost sleep. Those were responsibilities that you accepted the day you became a parent. That's not stuff they have to repay you for the rest of their life. Some people believe that raising a child gives them unlimited access for their entire life to their kids whenever you demand it. Every holiday has to be at your house. They have to accept your criticism. You have to do to do. Choosing a different spouse. Raise their children the way that the grandparents want. And if the adult child establishes boundaries, the parents immediately say, you're being disrespectful. Respect goes both ways, my friends. You cannot constantly criticize your adult child's marriage, parenting, body, money, or choices and then go, why are you not answering my calls? You may have raised them, but you do not own them. Your job was to prepare them to become independent, adult, not to create someone who is emotionally controlled by you. No. And yes. Some adult kids are selfish. Some abandoned good parents. Some take everything they were given and they don't appreciate a damn thing. It happens. A parent also has to be asked a painful question. Did my child walk away because they're ungrateful or they walk away because being around me became emotionally exhausting? A question. But if multiple people keep distancing from yourself, maybe you gotta stop blaming everybody else. A relationship with your adult kids should be built on mutual respect, not guilt. Should want them to call because they enjoy talking to you and love you, not because they're afraid if you don't, you'll punish them. You should want them to visit because your home feels like their home and safe. And if every holiday comes with a guilt trip, your kids are not coming over. They may owe you honesty. They do not owe you control of their adult life. The goal of parenting is not to raise children who never leave. Is to raise adults who are strong enough to build their own lives and they still wanna be around. My name is Eric, and I am an accountability coach. And if you're struggling with your relationship with your adult kids, maybe I can help. Hit me with an inbox if you're interested in seeing what I can do to help you. Appreciate you watching, guys, and I'll see you on the next one.