choosing what animal you want to be reincarnated as:

Oh hi there! Oh hi there! What? Welcome to the reincarnation station. What? See what happened was you were a human on earth and you passed away. And now you get to choose. I don't remember anything... Yeah that's kind of what happens but don't worry I'll walk you through it. but don't worry I'll walk you through it. Our options for you today are: Fish. Birds. Mammals. There's a whole lot of stuff in there but generally it's all the fuzzy options. Or reptiles. Not a lot of people choose reptiles but there is some fun stuff in there. Okay. Um.. What lives the longest? Actually my number one piece of advice for people is don't choose things that live longer because like if you're a Greenland Shark and you don't like it? Then you're kind of stuck like that for 500 years. Now because of your morality score What do you got that can fly? Now because of your morality score unfortunately the really cool birds like eagles and falcons are locked. But I can offer you... Chickadee. You know what I think I'm good can we try underwater? We have a few underwater options for you you including sea bass Squid. Crab. Claws and stuff that's pretty sick no? I don't know if you really want to be a crab. Okay what is the most relaxed option? Now we're talking mammals. We got sloth. Panda bear. Seal. Basically lay on the beach all day but you do have some predators. Now we do have another option on special right now and that would be the.. Sea sponge. And sorry what does a sea sponge do? Absolutely nothing. I find after a hectic human life a sea sponge is actually not a terrible option. Whoa. What was that? I think I just had a memory from my life. Ah yeah. That'll happen. How was my life? It was fine. Just fine? You did your best. Better than most honestly. And was I lonely? Oh no. A few people loved you actually. And you loved them back. That part doesn't go away. No matter what happens next. I wanna be human again. Oh I'm sorry you can't do that. Why? Because that's what you chose last time. Everyone's a return customer. Let's go with the chickadee. Excellent choice sir. Until next time.