How To Make People Yap (Part 37)

Most people don't realize this. But people opened up more when you ask about periods instead of their current situation. Then when you ask about surface level again. Because most people ask about what someone's life looks like. Where do you live? Where do you live? And how's work? And they usually get predictable answers. But great conversationalists do something different. They ask about the transitions that led to an outcome. Instead of how long have you been together for, you can ask, so what happened that made you realize this relationship was worth committing to? Or instead of what are you passionate about, what is something that you care deeply about now that you didn't care about years ago? Because situations are static and transitions always have tension, and tension creates good stories. So here's the shift. Don't just ask people where they are. Ask them what changed to get them there. Because everyone has something notable that happened to them on their journey to get to where they are today. A risk they took, a failure they had, or even a person they met. Or even a decision they almost didn't make. And that's usually where the real story lives. Because because at the end of the day, making people yap is about uncovering the moments in someone's life that shape someone's life.