POV: All potential work besties must pass an intensive interview process

Quick, just say the that comes to your head. Quick, just say the first thing that comes to your head. I got to make sure and not the corporate Did you take the last employee engagement survey? Yeah, but my responses were vague, nothing juicy have them looking at me sideways. Cool. Would you recommend this place to a friend? Who are you HR? I barely want this place on my LinkedIn. Did you prefer your coffee black or with a little cream whipped? On the rocks, with a good nugget ice. When somebody messages with no context, what do you do? Ignore it until they actually tell me what they want to. If you hear some office gossip, are you keeping it quiet? Girl, no, we're going to can tell you about it. If someone tells you not to tell anyone, what's your next move? Keep my lips zipped and immediately run and tell. If I send, can you talk? Absolutely no explanation? I'm quitting whatever I'm doing. This is clearly an urgent situation. Now if I'm beefing with somebody at work, whose side are you on? Yours. Forget the facts. Just tell me who we don't like from now on. Now, if I ask if this here sounds a little too mean. Take out the per my last email and hit send, queen. And if I get a new job and people ask if you knew I wasn't happy. I'm saying, damn, that's crazy and minding the business pays me. When can you start?