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my intern gave himself a five out of five on his performance review. the only thing he's done all summer is fail multiple phishing test emails. IT literally revoked his office internet to help prevent data breaches. how on earth do you arrive five out of five after and let's get real for a second do you really think our of a 500 person company who you have never met or spoken to would email you and ask you to 10 different $50 gift cards and pay you back later? NO! why would he do that? and it's not just the emails. he messes up everything. I asked him to analyze some customer data in spreadsheet and he somehow deleted the entire spreadsheet. luckily I had a copy and instead of sitting down with him and showing him how to do basic excel functions. I automatically generated a step-by-step guide showing him how the instructions and screenshots refer back to it whenever he wants, and most importantly, leave me alone. and don't even get me started on what wears to the office. how do you read business casual and think to yourself, "I know I'm gonna wear a black suit with a black dress shirt and a black tie like I'm a magician about to perform for an audience"? what's next? are you gonna show up wearing a top hat too? huh. I'm not hiring any interns next year.