A day in the life of an abandoned house hippo 🥺

A day in the life of an abandoned house hippo who has been abandoned at home to fend for himself. First, I wake up from a four-hour nap and immediately check if my parents have returned from war. They have not. So I report to my post at the window to monitor neighborhood activity. Susan walked by with her cresty little white dog at 2:17 and I had to sit there while that ankle biter peed on my mailbox. Next, hunger struck so I did what any abandoned child would do and went dumpster diving in my own home. Mom threw away a half a chicken nugget last night. In this economy? Thankfully, I recovered it. After lunch, I watched the cartoons my parents left on for me because apparently I'm three. I am three, but that's besides the point. Then it was time for surgery. My giraffe had been squeaking uncontrollably, so I performed an emergency squeaker extraction. Unfortunately, he did not make it. Rest in pieces, brother. And just as I have finally accepted that I'm an independent man thriving in my mortgage-free lifestyle, my humans had finally returned. And of course, I had to give them endless kisses to distract them from all of my unsupervised activities. If I keep looking them in the face, they physically cannot ask me why the trash can is on its side and my giraffe is missing vital organs. Anyway, follow to be a part of the blue crew and say you don't miss out on all of my future shenanigans.