Things my humans do that make no sense to a house hippo 🥺

Things my humans do that make absolutely no sense to me as a house hippo. Part 3. They usually always give me a sample of what they're eating. Sandwich, sure. Chicken, absolutely. Cheese, don't mind if I do. But the second it's chocolate, suddenly they'll act like one lick and I'll explode. My theory, they completely made it up so they don't have to share dessert. Which leads me to my next question. Why do humans throw away food? Excuse me, you literally live with a state-of-the-art food disposal system. It's me. I work for free and I've been pre-rinsing the plates for you. Anytime my humans go to the bathroom, I faithfully stand guard outside the door because that's what family does. But when it's my turn to poop, do they return the favor? Nope. That's a pretty one-sided security arrangement if you ask me. They invite me on the couch. They invite me on the bed. They even beg me to come cuddle. Then act completely shocked when I take up too much room and 75 pounds of pure affection shows up. That's on you, not me. And lastly, they have the nerve to call me stinky. Whose fault is that? I've been patiently waiting for someone to schedule my spotty. Maybe get off your lazy butt and wash me if it's that pressing of an issue. Anyway, I should probably go check on my humans before they throw away more perfectly good food. Hit that follow button and I'll keep you updated on my complaints.