This is honestly messing with me to post and it's all one water under the bridge. You know, I love to beat a dead horse. So, I remember the nail in the coffin in my last relationship and I'm saying this because I just saw Ken Eurich and Bobby's breakup drama and how he wrote her a letter, basically telling her everything she needs to change about herself. And this made me think, right? Because I myself, and I know girls who have dated their biggest opps, okay? You meet a guy, he falls in love with you, he tells you all the reasons he loves you, and then somewhere down the line, he starts resenting you for everything you are, and then you're like, wait, I thought that, you know, you willingly, I didn't even hide anything. Like, what are we talking about? Whatever. And then it doesn't last. But, um, I remember the nail in the coffin in my last relationship was when I read a journal entry that my ex wrote about me and I'm an avid journaler, so I completely understand that this is an invasion of privacy. I shouldn't have opened the journal. I still feel shame and guilt about even having done that. But what I read in this journal made me realize, oh my god, like he hates me. Like he actually has a vendetta against me. Like, it wasn't even like, listen, if you had read my journal entries throughout that time, you could tell that she was, you know, you could tell that she was, I was just her, I was upset, I was obsessed, I was whatever. This journal entry was so disconnected, like so out of touch. It was written in the third person, which I don't know how you journal, I don't know how other people journal, but the third person is a little weird to me. I don't know. I usually journal by saying I, I had a good day, not you had a good day. But whatever. Who knows? Everyone's got their thing. So, I remember reading this part where it was like, you are better than her. And I was like, oh my god, like, the saxophone was getting louder. Like, I took pictures of it and sent it to my friends and my therapist and everyone was like, so like, you've got to go like yesterday. You need to move out. You need to, like, I'm literally in a different state with this man. Like, what even? No, but sometimes, sometimes you just realize, like, wow, this is actually my number one hater. Like, he's praying on my downfall. It's like so crazy. Like, I don't know why that happens, or how it happens, but it happens. And I've been thinking to myself, like, I haven't been boy sober all summer and sometimes I'm like, girl, you need to get back on the saddle again. So, I remember reading this part where it was like, you are better than her. And I was like, oh my god, like, the saxophone was getting louder. Like, I took pictures of it and sent it to my friends and my therapist and everyone was like, so like, you've got to go like yesterday. You need to move out. You need to, like, I'm literally in a different state with this man. Like, what even? No, but sometimes, sometimes you just realize, like, wow, this is actually my number one hater. Like, he's praying on my downfall. It's like so crazy. Like, I don't know why that happens, or how it happens, but it happens. And I've been thinking to myself, like, I haven't been boy sober all summer and sometimes I'm like, girl, you need to get back on the saddle again. And then I think about the last saddle. And I'm like, still healing from that. That was traumatizing. It's like, so crazy. Like, I don't know why that happens, or how it happens, but it happens. And I've been thinking to myself, like, I haven't been boy sober all summer and sometimes I'm like, girl, you need to get back on the saddle again. And then I think about the last saddle. And I'm like, still healing from that. That was traumatizing.
