Leaders & New Managers... should you go out for drinks with your team?

Leaders & New Managers... should you go out for drinks with your team? Yes, the age old question of should you still go out for drinks with your team if you are now their boss and you used to be their friend. I get this question constantly and honestly, it's some of the most advice that I give to new managers and leaders that I'm working with. So let me show you what I've learnt. I say this as someone who's learned it the hard way. Right. There was once a time that I went out with a group. I stayed for a really long time. I was having a great time, but I did hear something that I could not unhear and it did bother me for the remainder of the weekend. And it was just one of those things that I wish I hadn't heard and if I hadn't been the boss it wouldn't have bothered me. So here is my rule for drinks that I set in place after that day. And what I want to be clear about is that there are usually two bad pieces of advice that will be floating around from other people who are good leaders. I think they're both wrong for my personal opinion. And the first is just to cut it off, right? Don't be friends with people you work for anymore. Keep it professional. But I really think the second that you vanish and you stop being part of your team, your team will notice and they'll be like, oh, I guess she thinks she's changed. I think she thinks she's better than us. And you don't want that. And also that's really not the truth. And the other piece of bad advice that I hear is the opposite. Just don't let anything change. Just keep it the same. Everyone should know that you're the boss now and how things are going to be. And guess what? They don't. Some people do not get that there has to be two versions of you, um, because now you have different responsibilities. And I'm Marissa, your friendly millennial mentor here on TikTok, trying to make the workplace suck just a little bit less, especially for new leaders who weren't trained, um, on how to handle hard conversations, and they never were given a manual. So follow along, that's literally what I'm here for to walk you through my mistakes so you don't have them. Now here's my rule and here's the middle ground that I do. I still go, and I think you should still go and show up for happy hour. Go there, be happy. Maybe buy the first round of drinks if you can, if you financially can do that. Ask about their lives, laugh, tell them about your life, right? This is where your team gets to know you as a person and continue to get to know you as a person. This isn't a waste of time. Don't be stiff. Just go, have a good time like before, and be present, but only for the first hour. And then I want you to leave. I want you to leave early. And that's my little trick, right? You can name it on your way out if you want, say, okay, I'm going to go now so that you guys cannot have your boss lurking around. Have a great night. Um, and say it with a smile, right? You do mean it. You need to leave. They deserve to have a time where you're not around so that they can vent and talk about things and be able to have that camaraderie of just their team without their boss. Your team deserves that space and that's not them rejecting you. That's a very healthy. Remember, first round if you can, first hour, then head home and save this for the next time you head out with your team because I know you're going to be glad you had it. Check out my bio for more.