It took me 8 months of project panning to finally understand why I've spent $40,000 on beauty products

This is me being completely vulnerable on the internet and it’s actually kind of scary, but I feel like there are people out there that need to hear this. The source of my spending problem came from a lack of feeling seen, and the reason why I felt so unseen was because I was too guarded to actually ask for what I need, even in simple every day interactions with anyone I came across in life. That lack of feeling seen translated into a spending problem (it actually goes deeper than this and I didn’t touch on it), and I didn’t realize how much it actually affected my life. It wasn’t until I decided to break the cycle and take up a project pan challenge and continue to work on it every single day, consistently, for 8 months and counting. Once the “tower” started to fall, I was able to see the foundation it was built on, all because I stopped adding “blocks” to continue building the “tower” (blocks being the beauty products and the tower being the overconsumption habit that I built ON TOP of the “foundation” which was the need to feel seen, being outsourced). I am learning that my behaviors, particularly negative ones, are just symptoms of problems that I need to deeply explore. I stopped focusing on the habit that built the tower and started INSTEAD chipping away at it, and this is where it lead me. Now I can focus on building a new tower on a better foundation based on healthier decisions. Who would’ve thunk that my project pan journey lead me to actually do the shadow work I needed in order to discover that I was outsourcing my needs in material items. The irony… #projectpan #overconsumption #makeupaddict #makeupjunkie #deinfluencing