American chaos goblin in France here, let's talk about it.

American chaos goblin in France here, let's talk about it. Here are some things that are difficult or impossible to find in France. And if you're French and you're going to come into my comments like, oh, we actually have this in France, we have that in France, I want you to stop. I want you to go onto the internet and I want you to look up the term gaslighting. C'est le gaslighting because that's what you do. Okay, so let's begin. Starting with the big one, iced coffee. I made this bad boy at home. In France, coffee and espresso are synonymous, so if you ask for un p'tit cafe, it's probably going to be an espresso, not a filter coffee like we would expect in the States. Any variant of that like a cafe au lait, cafe creme, that kind of thing is going to be espresso with milk in it, with water in it, whatever. You may have success if you ask for your coffee sur glace, on ice, but you also may not. It's more likely that they'll offer you a frappe, which is what they consider ice coffee, which is like a Frappuccino, like a blended ice smoothie thing. I actually went to my local coffee guy and said, it's a billion degrees out, why not do iced coffee for the summer months? And he said, oh, it's not even worth it, we don't have the money for a frappe machine. I said a frappe machine? Just put coffee on the ice cubes. And he goes, no, we don't have the money for a frappe machine. And I said, no, no, no, it's just ice cubes in the coffee. And he said, who would buy that? If you are looking for a basic American style iced coffee, it's going to be cafe filtre sur glace or it's going to be a cold brew, okay? And I'm not angry at France for not having American style coffee, okay? It's France, it's not America. I'm just saying that ca n'existe pas. So don't come in my comments being like, well actually, if you ask for an espresso frappe, non. C'est pas un frappe, c'est pas un frappe, it's a cafe sur glace, okay? And stop telling me that there's Starbucks everywhere, okay? I do not live in Paris, there is no Starbucks in my town. We have an Ange and that does frappes, but the ice machine is broken so it currently does not. Thank you.